O Fish!

Why do I always encounter weirdos? I think my problem is that either I attract them (birds of a feather philosophy) or I am just too sensitive.

The other day I took a walk in the Kala Ghoda festival along the numerous stalls selling over-priced junk. There was one stall selling tiny cakes of handmade soaps for Rs.200 each.... and people were buying them. They were so tiny that Chrys wouldn't even be able to clean his big toe with it. At this stall I heard this SoBo types discussing all sorts of flowers, fragrances and spices and their uses on the human body. This guy had an accent which was neither Indian nor Brit and definitely not American. What's with these rich dudes and fake accents. I think when a guy puts on an accent he sounds effeminate. Stick to what you know men! Anyway, this guy ended up buying up almost the entire ensemble of soaps, creams, body butter, hair cream (he had long hair) and what nots. How do I know all this? Well, I had nothing better to do so stood around for some amusement.

Then I went to this stall that was selling stuff which looked like wind chimes and some wall hangings and other knick-knacks. Everything was superbly expensive. There were these bunch of papers cut in the shape of fish that attracted an old lady. There were about a dozen of them tied together and each page had some shlokas written on them. This whole thing was really small (about 3 inches X 2 inches wide) and actually looked quite shabby to me. The lady asked the fellow what it was. He said that these were the names of all the avatars of Lord Vishnu and they brought luck to whoever kept them at home. She then said asked the price. He said 500 bucks. She looked so shocked that I almost laughed out loud. Then she said that she wanted only one page. He said that was not possible. It was a booklet and she had to buy the whole thing. Then what she said was extremely funny and I did laugh out loud. She said, "But, I am a Parsi. I don't care about Vishnu. I only want one fish"

Chrys says that Parsis consider fish and fish shaped objects lucky. I would like to tell the old lady that if she had a grandchild, she could ask him/her to cut out fish shapes from craft paper. That would definitely be neater than the ones at that stall.

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I almost forgot. While I was there, a live performance was on. The singer, a lady (I think) must have had her big toe stepped on by a horse or an elephant on her way to the festival. She just went 'Aaaaaaaaaa' (pause) 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'

I could see the listeners going 'Aaargh!' and 'Egads!' ... like in Archies comics. Since I couldn't understand anything, I just said 'Duh!'

Koylu dhamaal che ... joyu?

Yesterday evening Chrys and I decided to catch a Parsi Gujarathi play called "Dhamaal in Sethna Cottage" directed by Roshan Tirandaz. The language is typical to Parsi people and very different from normal Gujarati. Since I claim to be multi-lingual, I went along praying that I understand at least bits of it. Thankfully the language was very simple and I enjoyed this unique experience.

We reached NCPA well before time, took our tickets, ate a couple of sandwiches and waited in the hall outside. As expected the crowd was almost 100% Parsi and most of them ageing. We estimated the average age of the crowd to be 60. When we were at the counter ordering tea, a very old gentleman dressed in a faded well-worn suit, came up and asked Chrys to buy him a coffee. It wasn't put as a request, it was an order. For a moment Chrys just stood there staring at him as if he didn't understand the order. Then I nudged him and asked him to do as he was told. The poor old man had come alone (probably on a free pass) and it seemed like he hardly had any money on him.

Those who have been to NCPA would know that doors to the theater would open only about 15 minutes before the play begins. Till then you stand in queue outside since there is free seating. The first one in gets the best view. While we were waiting, a couple of old ladies started a playful banter with everyone around. One of them screamed .. "Hey, open the door and let us inside. Can't you see, there are so many senior citizens here?". Another one called out to the lead actor of the play who was supposed to be clicking pictures inside the theater... "Aye Dinyar, su phota parya karech. Door khol ni".

I was enjoying myself even before the play began... the bawa-bawis around ensured that there was a nice jolly environment. Everyone seemed to know everyone else. Of course I was also amused by the liberal display of the elegant Parsi noses all around... some long, some hooked, some crooked... but all of them prominent. Most of the old ladies were dressed in the typical skirt-blouse combo that they favour... although there were a couple of them dressed in the traditional Parsi saree. Most of them were helped up the stairs to their seats by someone accompanying them. It was heartening to see some of the old ladies helping other older ladies to their seats. This is when you actually realise what an ageing and lonely population the Parsis are, since most of them are also unmarried.

But none of them lack a sense of humour. The play was a comedy ... all Parsi plays are! The language, the mannerisms, the dialogue, the situation, everything was comical... most of it slapstick though. But who cares, the audience lapped it up... laughter and even whistles rang out. We even spotted Manoj Kumar in the audience or someone who looked exactly like him... can't be sure. The play lasted 3 hours with the break, but it was a lovely way to spend an evening. Wish there were more such productions.