Another gym story

Ever since I have started going to the gym alone, I wish I had B for company. Wouldn't she love making comments about all those bony-bummed gym-rats? I wonder how they sit comfortably... they probably need a lot of cushions to make up for the lack of fat on their posteriors!
But these are people I admire for their dedication. Then there are those I admire for the lack of it. They are the hoarders of fat. People who look for any opportunity to stop exercising. They catch hold of anyone who passes by, to chat. They try not to make eye contact with the trainers and give excuses to the nutritionist for not following the diet plan. Then, they look at the clock and commend themselves for an hour well spent in the gym... who cares how they spent it!
These days I see an elderly couple (really fat ones) coming in to exercise together. While the husband seems sincere, the wife is just passing time. She sits on the cycle slowly moving her legs and staring into the distance. As soon as she sees her husband approach she speeds up. It's cute really!
Then there is this really old man who walks with a stick and has an attendant with him always. He is very regular and recently I saw a picture of him in the papers - he had participated in the marathon (elderly category). Apparently he has Parkinson's disease and took part on the insistence of his granddaughter. She couldn't run because of a fever but he decided to go ahead and run for her.
You might think that all I ever do at the gym is sit and observe people. No, I sit-up and observe people. 3 sets of 15 each.

Gym Shim

Chrys and I recently joined a gym. It's in an up-scale locality and Chrys specifically wanted to ogle at the society-type women there. However in the past few days I have observed several different types there:

1. Society Types: These are usually in their late thirties or forties or fifties or God only knows how manys coz they don't look their age. They all look the same - flat abs, pert butts and muscled arms. They exercise with their noses in the air and later do an elaborate make-up session in the locker-room.

2. Gym Rats: These guys(mostly) tend to spend their entire day in the gym pumping weights. Cardio exercises are for sissies. The gym rats will lifts the maximum amounts of weights and pick up the biggest dumbbells. They will even shout out instructions to the new-comers and strut around inspecting all female butts.

3. Little old ladies: These are the adorable types. Diminutive and delicate, they will spend most of their time slow cycling and doing stretches. These types will be friendly will all the trainers and call everyone 'dear'.

4. Old men: They will walk in with baby steps usually accompanied by an attendant who will help them with their shoes and disappear into some discreet corner to do exercises or whatever you may call small painful movements.

5. Really fat people: These are the ones that actually need the use of the gym. But they are the most inconspicuous (as much as fat people can be). They will be rather conscious and speed up their cycling or treadmill when a Society type or a Gym rat walks by. Most of the time they are being pestered by the trainers to do one more push-up or lift the dumbbell one more time. You will find these types later gorging on pani puri or cheese sandwiches downstairs.

6. Regular people: These are far and few between. They follow the trainers around or do whatever exercises they have been told to do without making too much of a fuss. They will be polite with the Little old ladies and smile at the Old men. But, it'll not be long before they turn into the Society types or Gym rats. Dreadful!

TGINF...Y (Thank God I'm Not Fat... Yet)

These days I divide my time between being a couch potato and a sleeping beauty. This morning I looked at my face and I realised that it has puffed up beyond recognition. So, now I have resolved to cut down on my T.V. time - right after I have finished watching the 15 odd movies I've taped.

I tried doing some stretches this morning, but they can hardly qualify as stretches. Shrugs more like it.

This morning the newspapers announced that a lady has won the best director's award at the Oscars this year for the first time in the history of the event. That didn't shock me more than the fact that this woman - Kathryn Bigelow - looked barely into her 40s but was actually 58! I wonder what I would look like when I hit that age. I think I'll stop looking at the mirror lest I scare myself to death.

The other day Chrys and I went to the new TGIF at the Palladium (drab, boring, bad service, bad music- avoid like plague). Anyway, there were a lot of people trying to get in and a lot of people with kids in prams trying to get out - and we were seated right at the entrance. Chrys pointed out a girl to me who was obviously anorexic. She had straws for legs (including thighs) and reeds for hands. The rest of her body could be called a stick. Her boyfriend was seen helping her finish her salad - he looked quite healthy and pink as a result.

As if to off-set this sight, I spotted a white woman who probably weighed anywhere between 200-300 kgs walk in (amble rather). She was accompanied by other fat people who looked rather slim as compared to her.... people choose friends that make them look good. By that standard the fattest one must be friends with a whale or something. She reminded me of the blob type humans in the movie Wall-E. Gross!

I think I better get on the treadmill now.

Gym Shim Scam

Working out is tricky. Almost two years ago, I decided that I needed to get fit and visited a gym to enquire about their charges. My mom came along since she had never seen a professional gym before. The guy at the reception took a good look at me, asked me how much I weighed and then asked why I wanted to join a gym. When I answered that I wanted to stay fit, he seemed very amused and told me that I was fit. How did he know that? Well, because I wasn't "fat". Almost everyone at that gym was trying to lose weight and he couldn't understand why I would want to join when I didn't need to lose weight. My mom tried to dissuade me. I should have understood that this was the wrong place for me, however after dilly dallying for a couple of months I went and signed up.

They didn't assign any trainer to me, but a young girl drew up a chart for me to follow. Cardio and weight training alternately. A break on Sunday. Treadmill for 20+ minutes everyday. She also showed me some stretching exercises to be done daily. I went regularly for the first couple of weeks. During the days for weight training, the trainer helped me out with some exercises. I protested that the weights were too much for me to handle, but she insisted on adding on the kilos to the machines. I should have protested more assertively - I didn't. The result was that after a couple of weeks I started dreading the weight training. I would purposely skip the days for weight training and turn up only for cardio. My back hurt a bit, but I ignored it. Then I was diagnosed with endometriosis and after the surgery I took a break from the gym.

One day I was feeling good, but there was this niggling pain in my back. I decided that it was due to my break from exercising. I started doing some stretches bending forward and extending backwards - immediately the pain increased. I stopped and sat down. The pain wouldn't go away. When Chrys came home he asked me to lie down and rest my back. However the pain was worse the next day. We rushed to see a doctor and he said that I may have a slipped disc. An MRI scan confirmed it. The weight training without proper precautions had caused it. I was laid up in bed for over a month and had to take physiotherapy for 3-4 months before I could spend an entire day without pain. Due to the forced rest I gained a lot of weight.

Today I have started exercising again, but at home. I stick to simple physiotherapy exercises, light weights and walking on the treadmill. And I blast any caller who tries to sell me a gym membership!