Chalti ka naam gaadi

The first time I tried learning to drive was in Bangalore. The main issue was the language barrier. The old man who taught me (or tried to) didn't know English too well and I stumbled on Kannada. So after a disastrous 10 days of "Amma leftu, amma rightu, amma stop stop"... I gave up.

So when I joined up for lessons here in Mumbai, I wasn't too hopeful of getting anywhere with my driving. Surprisingly after 5 days of training, my trainer declared that I am a natural at it and that I should go ahead and take my own car out on weekends (with Chrys supervising of course). It's been almost a month now and my driving lessons are over. There were a few tense moments but mostly it was smooth sailing. I dodged hand-carts, BEST buses, school-children running zig-zag, honking taxi drivers and even helmet-less traffic policemen. I can park into tight spaces, my hand-eye coordination has improved and I can drive a gear-shift vehicle as good as an automatic.

I drive my own car once in a while with Chrys accompanying me. I will appear for the final test next week and once I get my license I will be free to drive alone.

So one of my fears has been conquered. Next step - learn swimming.

Yeh achi baat nahi hai

The guy who trains me to drive is good at his job, but I still detest him and his car.

Firstly he is as covered in pan stains as the walls of KEM hospital... Oh wait! The doctors cleaned that up themselves. I wish the trainer takes a cue and bathes in a drum of Dettol or something.

Secondly the car he brings looks like it's been reclaimed from the junk-yard. The seatbelt is so tattered that I don't think it's of any use at all. The gear stick sometimes ends up in the 3rd when I try putting it in the 1st. The brakes don't work when you need them to... in fact today I hit the brake and the car speeded up! I swear it wasn't the accelerator!!!

Every time I make a mistake the guy says, "Acha!?!". Just the way Kader Khan says it disbelievingly when his sons come up with some bizarre schemes in "Haseena maan jayegi".

I flinch every time he does that for fear of being hit by a spray of pan juice. I am reminded of the scene in "Main hoon na" where Sharukh Khan dodges the spray of saliva from Satish Shah's mouth by doing a Matrix style stunt. Unfortunately the insides of a battered Santro are not suitable for such stunts.

All said and done, I believe I am proving to be less hazardous to the Mumbai roads than the time I started off.