Bond to be good

We watched Skyfall last night and were totally blown away... at least I was. Chrys as usual pointed out some flaws. I didn't really care coz I was busy drooling over Daniel Craig... he looks a little haggard in the face, but what a body! For some reason Chrys thought he is over 50 and that this would be his last Bond movie. But he is only 44 and I would like to see more of him. I think Javier Bardem was purposely made to look ugly. Why else would you take a gorgeous guy, with warm brown hair you wanna play with, and turn him blond?
After watching such a high energy movie, I had action-filled dreams and I am not revealing any more.

It's Chrys' birthday today so gotta go bake bake bake.

Girna nahi Mayuri!

Yesterday I watched a program on BBC Entertainment called "Extreme Makeover". They pick an underprivileged family, break down their old home and build a brand new house- all in a week's time. This time they chose the family of an eight year old girl who had cancer. During the course of building the house they invited other cancer survivors for a small project. Of the children, there was a teen aged boy who was in remission but had lost a leg to the disease. He was wearing a prosthetic leg.
Whenever I see a prosthetic leg I am reminded of Sudha Chandran and her movie "Nache Mayuri". I remember watching it with my family. By then we had shifted to Bombay (as it was called then) and we lived in Chembur. The song "Jhoom jhoom naach Mayuri" had already become popular on Radio and "Chayageet" and being a dance enthusiast I was really excited to watch the movie.
My father bought tickets in advance for a Sunday show at Sahakar cinema in Chembur. As usual the four of us piled onto his trusted scooter and were off. I enjoyed the movie and even cried when Mayuri had that dreadful accident where she loses her leg. I think Shekhar Suman also "acted" in the movie if what he does can be called that. Sudha Chandran was one of the greatest success stories of the Jaipur foot. The dances in the movie were brilliant and exhilarating...or so I remember.
On our way back from the movie, our scooter skidded on an oil spill on the road and I remember thinking for a split second if even I would lose a limb. We were lucky to escape with a few minor bruises and scrapes but that movie day will always remain in our memory as the only accident we had on our beloved green Vespa.

Item Repulse Theory

Just a few weeks back I made a post about some music reality show with Mallika Sherawat as the judge. Looks like the show never took off coz Mallika 'Razia' Sherawat gundon mein phas gayi.
I would like to know what exactly is the brief given to the lyric writers of item songs. Put some words like 'jawani', 'ishq', 'badnaam', etc. If that doesn't work, use some pain balm product names or tooth powder references 'Ishq ka manjan ghise hai piya' (where the hell did that come from???). A reference to any cow-belt city/state names like 'UP, Bihar, Patna,' will guarantee the seetis. You may even use different sounding words like 'Tinku jiya' or 'Khallas' for all you care. Just make sure that there's loads of double meaning stuff and you will have top actresses lining up to slip into slinky shiny clothes and shake their hips.

GROSS!

YPD: Yaar Paka Dala... thoda sa

Two movies I wish I had waited to watch on T.V: YPD and NOKJ

Yamla Pagla Deewana is a total Sunny Deol movie with seeti-maar stunt scenes and the best one-liners reserved for him. The first half of the movie is a little drag except for a couple of scenes of the little kids playing Sunny's sons (wah wah).
The second half is quite funny. The surprise discovery is of finding a long lost actor (Mukul Dev) completely camouflaged behind a shaggy beard putting in a tiny but hilarious performance. Dharamender is really old and all those cosmetic surgeries make him resemble a Ramdas Padhye puppet especially around the mouth. But kudos to him for persisting on even at this age. Bobby Deol as usual puts in his best door-knob expression. Somebody please make him stop acting in films!

What works for NOKJ is it's story -  a human interest story; a real life story. However the direction and execution is not so great. Most characters are strictly two-dimensional and caricatures of the real people be it the prime witnesses or the accused's mother. Vidya is badly dressed in over-sized full-sleeved shirts that seem to have been stolen from her dad's wardrobe. Rani has the most plum role, but the girl playing Jessica (Myra) does steal some of the show. This is a spunky actress who given the right roles could go far in the film industry. Alas she may be yet another brilliant performer who may get left behind in the rat-race that prefers connections more than talent. Another performance worth mentioning is of the guy playing the policeman investigating the case. He was last seen in LSD and has put in another great performance.

Bore maar khan

You can thank me now. Just to make sure that I wasn't wrong, I actually watched TMK and as I had predicted it was terrible. Farah Khan's worst movie. As for her husband's record, compared to this horrible excuse for a movie, 'Jaan-E-Mann' was quite bearable.... and I really hated that too.

Raj-peepee Spoofie

Cast:

Sorryman - Ran-far Kapoor

Logwood Bhaiya - Karjun Rampage

Veermooch Bhaiya - Manoj Loud Baja bhai

Shakuni Mama - Papa Natekar

Kunti Maiya - Somebody

Bade Papa - Nobody

Chotte Papa - Somebody's husband

Tharki Buddha - Screechudin Shah

Jeyshth Putra - Ajay Godgun

Sindoori Bindu - Hurricane Katrina

Blondie - Sarah Tom Tom

Blousie - Shruti Shame Shame

Some assorted goondas and policemen (or both)

It all begins when Sorryman arrives in India to attend Bade Papa's Happy Burdday. At the sight of him Bade Papa pukes and has a stroke... so much for the Happy Burdday. Sorryman is really sorry but Bade Papa has gotten paralysed. Veermooch Bhaiya tries to grab the opportunity to become the president of the political party that Bade Papa and Chotte Papa have built. But paralytic Papa will have none of it. He drools out instructions that are read under a specially built microscope and makes Chotte Papa the president. Automatically Logwood Bhaiya who is the son of Chotte Papa gains more power.

Meanwhile Sindoori Bindu is trying her best to seduce Sorryman. But he says Sorry and she throws away the champagne. Blousie makes an appearance to try and seduce Logwood Bhaiya to grant her a party ticket. He is seduced alright, but his wooden expression fails to reveal that he had absolutely no intentions of granting tickets to women who can't even manage their saree pallu.

Jeyshth Putra is meanwhile roaming around trying to look important but no one pays him any attention till Veermooch Bhaiya takes him under his large moustache wings.

Chotte Papa's film contract expires and he is shot at. Sorryman is really very Sorry now and tries in vain to donate blood and save him. In the process he gets slapped by a cop and says Sorry to him too. Logwood Bhaiya gets arrested on no particular charges. Blousie decides to sue him for sexual harassment. Now that Logwood Bhaiya has criminal cases against himself he has become the perfect candidate for the CM's post. All he needs is money which Sindoori Bindu's father can provide. So Sorryman and Shakuni Mama arrange a marriage between the two. Sindoori raves and rants but shuts up when Blondie turns up to smooch Sorryman. Everyone is sorry that it happened.

Sindoori Bindu cannot accept Logwood Bhaiya as her husband. But one day he returns home after brutally murdering the cop that slapped Sorryman and Blousie. This makes Sindoori change her mind and she decides that it is best to sleep with Logwood coz he is a man of action unlike Sorryman. Sorryman is really sorry to no one in particular and decides to make do with Blondie. Blondie's pregnant, Sindoori's pregnant and everyone is sorry...oops happy.

But wait, Veermooch Bhaiya and Jeyshth Putra have had enough of all this sleeping around nonsense and decide that it's time for a bomb blast in the movie to keep the audience interested. The bomb blasts and Logwood gets burnt like a log of wood and Blondie becomes blackie. Sorryman is really really Sorry.

Shakuni Mama decides to murder Jeyshth Putra only to realise that he is Kunti Maiya (i.e Shakuni's sister's) illegitimate child from Tharki Buddha. Tharki Buddha was a great revolutionary and Kunti Maiya was his chief assistant. However they slept with each other and Tharki Buddha lost his mind and ran away. Kunti Maiya was not married so she dumped the baby in the river. A limo driver found the baby and raised him as his own. Kunti Maiya goes to Jeyshth Putra and requests him to come join Sorryman. But Jeyshth Putra is in love with Veermooch Bhaiya and he finds his moustache a more secure place and chooses to stay put under it.

Sorryman is now really sorry that so many people have died and decides to kill some more. So he kills the irritating Veermooch Bhaiya and Jeyshth Putra for good measure. He then decides he has enough of all this Raj-peepee and asks Sindoori Bindu to become the CM while he runs off the U.S.A to become a teacher. Our judicial system is really sorry for having let go of a murderer.

I am sorry for having watched this movie.

One observation: Everytime someone has sex in the movie, the girl gets pregnant.

Prince - the king of all cliches

The most awaited movie of the year, "Prince It's Showtime" released this weekend and Chrys and I watched it last night. Wow, what an experience! (I'm being sarcastic here)

Here is a blow by blow (or should I say shot by shot) account of our harrowing experience (although Chrys thoroughly enjoyed it)

So our hero is this master of disguise and can pull off a jewellery heist in a high security setup. How innovative! You've only seen this before in Snatch, Mission Impossible, Ocean's eleven and twelve and thirteen and a dozen other movies. What you haven't seen probably is that the diamonds are stolen using a powerful vacuum cleaner :O

The title credits show a very paunchy Vivek Oberoi trying to imitate Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and failing miserably. Oh and like the Iron Man, our hero is also an innovator with a shady lab at his disposal where he generally impales random objects with his arrow shooting wrist-cuff or whatever you may call it. He also does a Minority Report type of scene, randomly moving his hands in the air, thereby operating a hologram type computer.... WOW!

Then suddenly he wakes up one day and has no memory of anything. Bourne Identity anyone?

Taking advantage of his lost memory a lot of skimpily clad girls try to sleep with him claiming to be his girlfriend Maya and then try to kill him (was he so bad in bed?)

The villain makes an entry in a swimming pool with large dogs for company.... gross! Oh wait, the dogs were outside the pool. My bad!

So the white collar criminal proceeds to walk around in expensive suits, blow up expensive airplanes and generally act as a pain the wrong places for people all around. He also has terminator style hand to strangulate anyone (or break open walnuts or coconuts for all I care).

The main hero of this movie is a coin that keeps disappearing. Everyone is after it coz it has some magical chip embedded in it that can alter people's memories. The CBI officer explains that this could have a lot of use in defence... Yeah we can make all Pakistanis forget about Kashmir!

The movie is so random that it is just a sequence of stunts performed by all and sundry (at one point one 'Ramu kaka' type character also turns out to be a bad guy and starts shooting at people). The girls keep appearing out of nowhere... sometimes parasailing, sometimes dancing at sleazy bars, sometimes walking out of steamy showers curtains. Lots and lots of bullets are fired but everyone is a bad shot and no one gets killed (except for the audience).

If you want a truly mind-numbing experience, go watch this film.

Well done Abba

There are dramatic, topical movies with the protagonist fighting for a cause like in MNIK and Kurbaan, and then there are sweet little movies like 'Well done Abba'. Here too the protagonist is after a cause, but in a tragic-comic way which is never overly dramatic, but always subtly humorous.

A few days ago, Chrys and I watched a talk show about 'Moderate Muslims' on NDTV. The discussion panel included bigwigs like SRK, Karan Johar and Kabir Khan. Kabir Khan made a valid point that even today the main lead in a Hindi movie is never depicted a Muslim unless his religious identity is somehow central to the theme of the movie. Other than that this section is depicted as the benevolent Rahim chacha or the terrorist.

'Well done Abba' is however different in the sense that although almost all characters are Muslims, religion is no where central to the theme of the movie. These are normal people with everyday problems like water scarcity. Shyam Benegal brings the little village called Chikatpally in Andhra Pradesh alive with it's Rehman Chacha and Salma chachi, village sarpanch Balamma with her dominating husband, an ever harassed inspector and his two odd-ball constables, an engineer who is only interested in exploring the workings of his wife's anatomy and several others.

Boman Irani who performs the role of both Armaan Ali and his brother Rehman Ali, has yet again given an endearing performance as the oppressed common man. Ila Arun as the chachi is as loud and brazen as her 'Ramsakhi Pannawali' in 'Welcome to Sajjanpur', yet different in some traits. Sameer Dattani and Minnisha Lamba are two extremely talented people who are sadly unexploited in mainstream Hindi movies. Every little character adds to the charm of the movie and just like in 'Welcome to Sajjanpur', this movie has no heroes or villains, just some regular people who can be sweet or mean depending on the situation at hand.

A must watch for everyone.

Ever since we got a set-top box with a recording function, I have been obsessively recording movies that seem interesting. Sometimes I read the synopsis, sometimes the title grips me. One such movie is a French one called "I always wanted to be a gangster". Shot mostly in black and white, the movie has several stories, not interconnected yet tying in with each other due to the fact that each one of the characters aspires to commit a crime. I was relying on the subtitles to understand what's going on, but the performances are so brilliant that you forget about the language barrier. The narrative is subtly funny yet poignant. There are no over the top scenes nor any colourful dialogue but this movie is definitely a classic.

A lot has been said about Kurbaan. The critics have praised it and a lot of people have liked it. I liked it too. It's entertaining. Besides that, I disagree with the view that it's hard-hitting and realistic. Real terrorism is far more scary and too disgusting to be depicted in a main-stream movie. If I had to choose I'd rather watch entertaining films than realistic ones. Then again some fantasy/unreal films like District 9 are extremely disturbing too.

Pls do not disturb

I am always sceptical about hyped up movies, but since I have liked almost all of Konkana Sensharma's work in the past, I decided to watch 'Wake Up Sid' even though only second row seats were available. The movie is enjoyable, a typical tale of coming of age yet superbly original. The title indicates that this is the coming of age of the character Ranbir Kapoor plays. However, the movie also subtly depicts Konkana's character's journey to being more mature and falling in love with someone she considered the complete opposite of her Mr. Right.

So we enjoyed the movie. But, what Chrys and I hadn't bargained for were some totally immature people in the audience. There were kids of course making the usual ruckus, but what got my goat were some adults behaving like teeny-boppers. These were middle aged pot bellied men, kidding around and generally disturbing everyone around. Either they had come to a multiplex for the first time or they were drunk. No amount of shushing and angry comments could make them stop.

This behaviour would have been understandable if the movie was 'Do knot disturb', the worst movie we have seen in recent times. I won't waste another word on it.

Balloons, Boys and Barcelona

Ever since it has released, I have been wanting to watch 'The Ugly Truth'. Finally we got around to watching it this weekend and it was well worth the wait. Katherine Heigl is the new romantic heroine(the new Meg Ryan as Chrys says although I disagree). She plays a fierce career woman(T.V show producer) craving to be swept off her feet by a Mr. Right. She has a list of qualities that he needs to have and only goes on dates once these are verified and a proper background check is done by her secretary. Gerard Butler plays the male agony aunt with an evil twist. He hosts a show on a rival T.V channel which preaches lust as opposed to love because boys will be boys. He ends up in the same T.V show as Katherine's much to her chagrin. He literally hijacks the show with his brand of relationship advice and the audience loves it forcing the producer to keep him on and try to keep him happy. The rest is predictable... the lead pair fight a lot, the guy trains the girl to snare her Mr. Right, but falls in love with her too in the bargain. Even though it may be predictable, the wit and crackling chemistry between the lead pair, makes this a beautiful movie.

Yesterday we did a movie marathon and watched two back to back. The first one was a well recommended 3D animation movie called 'Up'. I like the trend of making animated movies targeted at all age groups. This is not a kiddie movie coz it has some complex human emotions that kids may get confused by. It's the story of Cane who has a love for adventure since childhood. He marries his childhood sweetheart Ellie who too is an adventure enthusiast and who wants to one day travel to the mystical Paradise Falls in South America and build a house right over it. They never get around to doing it. Time flies by and they grow old and one day Ellie passes away. Cane is shattered and one day decides to attach numerous balloons to his house and fly away, house included, to Paradise Falls. What he doesn't account for is a castaway in the form of a little kid who is in search of some adventure too. The child's character is so adorable that you forget that it's animated. The old man too comes alive. So on their way to the falls, they have several adventures, encounter villains and come back home triumphant. 3D is an awesome technology, but I hate wearing those oversize glasses which are invariably scratched and damaged at multiplexes, especially after paying exorbitant cash deposits for them. This movie is good, but not so great. It's got it's moments but I would have been OK with it not being 3D and watching it on DVD.

The other movie we watched was Woody Allen's 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' starring Rebecca Hall, Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. In his trade mark style, Woody Allen explores the relationships between men and women. The story is unreal yet believable. It's about two best friends who go to Barcelona one summer and end up learning a lot about themselves.

The two friends are poles apart yet alike in certain ways. Vicky is engaged to the perfect guy while Christina is a bohemian at heart or so she believes. They meet a handsome painter, Juan Antonio at an exhibition. Someone tells them that he has had a messy divorce after his wife had tried to kill him. Christina is smitten. Antonio wastes no time in inviting the both of them for a weekend of fun, adventure and love making at a small hamlet. Vicky is shocked at his bluntness, but Christina convinces her to come along. Once there, the three spend a day sight seeing and at the end of the day a drunk Antonio invites both of them back to his room. Vicky flatly refuses but Christina is tempted. However due to food poisoning she is laid up in bed and Vicky ends up being seduced by the charming painter the next night. Christina unaware of all this carries on an affair with Antonio once they are back in Barcelona and even moves in with him. Here unexpectedly his ex-wife (played by Penelope Cruz) turns up after a failed suicide attempt. It turns out that Antonio is still in love with her, but can't live with her due to her volatile nature. Their relationship is passionate but mutually destructive. However Christina's presence acts as a catalyst and the three of them become lovers and live in harmony until one day Christina decides that she has had enough of this lifestyle. She leaves the two of them who end up fighting again and separate. Vicky meanwhile gets married but realises that she is in love with Antonio. All the messy relationships culminate in a nicely tied up end.

Although all the actors have done a really good job it's difficult not to notice the presence of Woody Allen in their mannerisms and dialogue delivery. I wish he would let his actors find their own groove and not imitate him. But that doesn't diminish the fun we had watching this movie.

Appa and Mamma says you watch it

When I saw the 4 star rating for Wanted in two different newspapers, I was sure that the producers had paid big money to get a good review. Chrys and I decided to do a movie marathon and watch two movies one after the other. Unfortunately, the first one we wanted to watch, The Ugly Truth was sold out so we settled for our second choice Wanted.

I am not a fan of desi style maar dhaad and had kept my eyes closed during the fight sequences in Ghajini. Since Wanted too is a remake of a South-Indian movie called Pokhiri, I was sure that I could take a nice nap during the action scenes. But as soon as Salman Khan strode in on the screen, I was hooked. As one of his sidekicks in the movie says, he is Terminator, Bruce Lee and Rambo rolled into one. His character is called Radhey (Tere Naam anyone?). He works for anyone who would pay him big bucks and would do anything for money except 'Main aurato aur bacho pe haath nahi uthata' (Does Aishwarya Rai have anything to say to that?).

The Mumbai they depict here seems to be the one it was 15 years ago with gang wars and encounter killings happening everyday. Radhey in spite of being arrested a few times seems to be otherwise immune to the police. In the midst of bashing up the bad guys, our hero also finds time to make puppy eyes at a wholesome good girl (Ayesha Takia). The romance track is really cute and funny. Ayesha Takia is sadly so underutilised in Hindi movies. Thank God the South Indian directors (Prabhu Deva in this case) haven't given up on her. She looks good, slim but not thin, curvy but not fat.

The movie doesn't really have a story but it isn't brainless either. It's a series of action, comedy, romance scenes and lots of witty dialogues. The villain is also quite funny. I don't know this actor's name but I think he is a respected character actor down south. Prabhu Deva has brought out his own personality through this movie... irreverent, bold, funny and absolutely entertaining. Of course, this movie wouldn't have been the same without Salman Khan. Only he can be cute, lovable, vulnerable and menacing at the same time.

District 9 ... whine

Making gross and depressing movies should be declared a crime. I can tolerate bad movies like Cash, Tashan, etc. But I just can't understand the point of someone making a movie like District 9. Every movie normally has the main characters going through struggles, tiffs with the bad men, etc, but in the end something good happens and you go away satisfied.

Not so in the case of District 9. It starts off as a documentary and quickly degenerates into something worse than the worst horror movie. Some aliens have crashed into earth (Johannesburg) and are stranded here for two decades. They are put up in a transit camp of sorts which becomes their permanent residence and is called District 9. This transit camp quickly degenerates into a filthy slum. There are conflicts with the locals who either totally detest them or utilise them to create business opportunities. In the midst of this walks in our protagonist Wicus. He has been assigned to issue eviction orders to the aliens and relocate them about 200 kms from the main city. It's clear that although he has a good heart, he detests the aliens too. He enthusiastically goes about his job, condoning the killing of some resistant aliens, but relishing the sight and sound of their eggs and little ones being burnt alive. He calls it a mass abortion.

Meanwhile, a bunch of aliens are trying to get their mother ship repaired so that they can get back home. They have been collecting the fuel (alien stuff) for it since the past 20 years. However in the conflict between the humans and them, one of them gets killed and the fuel gets confiscated. While doing that some of it spills on Marcus. Here begins the grossest stuff (although there were a lot of gross things so far). Marcus slowly start turning into an alien. It turns out that his company is a weapons manufacturer and all they are really interested in is getting the technology for the alien weapons. These weapons cannot be operated by humans coz it needs some alien DNA to touch it for it to get activated. Wicus is now able to activate these weapons. He gets locked up and they do all sorts of tests on him. Just as the humans are about to kill him to harvest his body parts, he escapes. He then joins hands with an alien called Christopher and his son. Together they manage to retrieve the fuel. Christopher promises that he can turn Marcus back to being wholly human, however that would take three years. First he needs to get back to his planet and get help for the over 1 million aliens stranded on earth. Wicus is heartbroken. Even then he helps Christopher almost getting killed in the bargain. The alien disappears with his ship and Wicus is left to continue degenerating into an alien. The last shot shows him completely transformed into the alien life form, making a flower from some scrap for his wife who has taken him for dead. Totally depressing.

DO NOT WATCH IT.

Leave the ladies I say!

Chrys and I went to watch Quick Gun Murugan yesterday. Coincidentally Goan babe was in town with Sid and double coincidentally they got tickets for the same show right next to our seats. We HAD to have a blast and we did. Right from the title credits, this movie is seriously funny. None of the actors are trying to be funny, they just are.

The movie follows the misadventures of a cowboy without a cow, who tries to stop one Mr. Rice Plate Reddy from converting all veg restaurants into non-veg forcibly. People get killed throughout the movie... almost all of them shot in the head. Everyone kills casually. Our hero tries to teach one of the henchmen(Gunpowder) a lesson, but he says that he will do a correspondence course instead. Cowboy sends him back with a nice partition in his curly hairdo using a bullet.

The dialogues are in Tamil (with English subtitles), Hindi and English... a very tasty khichdi. Our Cowboy is killed, gets reborn and takes a very vegetarian revenge. In keeping with the tradition in South Indian movies, a really plump scantily clad woman helps our cowboy achieve his goal. Meanwhile the villain recruits Rowdy MBA to find ways to improve the taste of their non-veg dosa. Nice plump housewives get kidnapped and threatened with their cable T.V being cut unless they reveal their secret dosa recipes. More people get killed, lots of sambhar and dosa gets eaten. Finally the villain is served with his just 'desserts' (payasam?).

Sooper movie!

Luck Luck Luck.... Quick! Duck .... or else!

Starring:

Mooo-sa : Moan-a-bhai Dutt

Sidekick : Danny Singsongpa

Aila : Pappu Khan

Ui-ma : Snooty Hassan

Major Bore : Kithun Chakkar-aati

Official Rapist : Roving Kishen

Half-ticket : Lemur like creature

Props : Rubber Sharks, Camels

A cricket match is organised by Mooo-sa (He had some clandestine meetings with cows and contracted the foot-in-mouth disease, hence the name). He sends out his scout Sidekick to recruit players for his team. The only criteria for selection is that you should never be out on a duck and oh... you should be able to wear tight leather pants and fur coats in the baking heat of the desert.

The star player is a boy who tries to look tough and all, but actually looks like he has just had his ears boxed by his mom for not finishing his bournvita. Every time his mom boxes his ears, he screams "Aila"... hence the name. Having had enough of the domestic violence, Aila runs away and tries to rob an ATM. But Sidekick spots him and kicks him in the butt (orders from Dutt). Aila is forcibly recruited into the team. If he tries to escape he will never ever see his bournvita wielding mother again.

Meanwhile Major Bore is being chased by gaonwale wielding sticks and stones. He has been boring them with his army stories and they have had enough. The kind Sidekick takes him in and recruits him as the morale officer in the team. All he needs to do is tell his stories to the players who in turn will run like hell ... between the wickets. Anything to escape listening to boo-hoo stories!

Official Rapist (OP) asks to be discharged of his duties from the local jail so that he can join the team. His secret mission is to add Ui-ma to his conquests. Ui-ma is a liar hence her nose is as large as Pinocchio's. She's too snooty and doesn't have time to get raped and all, so asks Aila to substitute. OP is furious and declares both of them out (of their minds).

Now all they need are the stumps, when Sidekick suddenly stumbles upon Half-ticket. She was half-buried under a camel. She is quickly cleaned up and fixed to the pitch and the game begins. Mooo-sa is the captain and he bats first. After hitting the ball, he strolls across the pitch. The other batsman is furious and asks him to run... Mooo-sa never runs...he only walks. Hence the rules of the game are quickly modified. You have to now make walks, not runs. Mooo-sa continues walking in slow motion and is joined by 5 body-guards.

The game moves at a leisurely pace and by mid-afternoon everyone including the spectators are asleep. (Mooo-sa is still walking) Ui-ma decides to take a dip in the pool. Unfortunately, the sharks had also chosen the same time to take a swim. They threaten to bite Ui-ma's nose off. (Mooo-sa walks on) To save her Aila pushes Half-ticket into the water. The sharks move in to bite off her leg, but Half-ticket realises that they are rubber sharks and have no business biting off people's legs. (Mooo-sa and the guards continue walking) It was OP who was pushing around rubber sharks trying to scare people. He is thoroughly beaten up and fed to real sharks. Major bore is also tossed in for good measure. In all the commotion, Half-ticket runs off with a camel.

Mooo-sa meanwhile is still strolling around trying to look important, but no one pays him any attention except for Sidekick who tries to keep up with him. Aila has had enough of this nonsense. He whisks Ui-ma away and they both walk off into the sunset drinking bournvita. But those runs... oops walks are not counted and Mooo-sa wins the game. They forget to tell him that the game is over, so he continues strolling even after the guards and Sidekick have fallen down out of exhaustion.

A few months ago I watched "The Darjeeling Limited" on T.V. The movie was really good, but what was exceptional was the the music! I understand some of it is borrowed from Satyajit Ray and Merchant Ivory movies. No wonder they have a timeless quality to them

Here is a link to the "Bombay Talkie" theme used in this movie.

Bombay Talkie

Another really good movie to watch is "The Householder"... Leela Naidu at her ethereal best.

Enough with the vulgarity already!

In the nineties, Govinda, Karisma Kapoor, Anil Kapoor and every other actor/actress were scrambling to outdo each other in vulgarity. There was vulgarity in songs, dance moves, dialogues and the entire premise of the movie itself. It looks like Akshay Kumar has taken over the onus to continue this disgusting legacy. If in 'Chandni Chowk to China' he kept grabbing his own crotch and cracking really vulgar jokes, in 'Kambakkt Ishq' he has outdone himself. This was by far the most disgusting movie I have ever seen. I detest every single actor in that movie after watching it. Mr. Sajid Nadiadwala, please go drown yourself in a chullu. Shame on you cheapo!

If Hindi movies are so bad, Hollywood movies are no better. 'Hangover' is a vulgar Hindi movie made in English. Such a waste of time and money.