Mean me

A few weeks ago I was at this really beautiful resort in Lonavla. I had breakfast and while Chrys was still tucking in some more, I decided to take a stroll in the lovely grounds. I walked with butterflies flying all around me, the birds chirping away, a cool breeze blowing and I am in a trance. Suddenly a shrill voice shouts out, "Excuse me". I turn around and see the most hideous thing I have ever seen. It's a black tent enclosing something that is obscenely blubbery. Four appendages stick at different points and there's a big bloated balloon on top with some wispy black hair. Through all those blobs of flesh on the balloon there seems to be some opening that's speaking these words. "Excuse me", he/she(I'm not sure) says again, "Did you just have a massage?"
"No", I manage to croak out after he/she asks me a couple of times.
"Oh! I wanted to know if it's any good".
I just make some shrugging sort of gesture and slink away, although all my instincts are screaming to me to run back and warn the people at the spa to escape while they can.

#IknowIammean

Vacation

This time our Goa experience was different although we stayed near the same beach we go to every year - Baga. We stayed at a resort which was supposed to be 4 star but didn't really match up to those standards. We didn't mind too much because most of our days were spent outside. As always we hired a scooter and drove around, but discovered new places this time.
The best part was that we discovered the Baga riverside and a quaint little restaurant called Le Poisson Rouge run by a Frenchman. We also visited Taj village which had a coffee shop overlooking the sea... very pleasant.
Then we went to Bangalore for two days... the best two days in a long time. Bangalore has changed so much... although I can't say it's for the best. Too much crowd and noise. But, we still enjoyed walking around early in the morning when there was a nip in the air. We went to some of our old haunts and also explored new ones. I enjoyed the Metro ride.... when will Mumbai ever get one???
Two days didn't seem like a lot but we filled in as much as we could and met up with quite a few old friends. Then back to Mumbai it was ... thankfully not as hot as we had left it a couple of weeks ago.

Give me a 'G', Say 'O', Say 'Aaaaa'..... Goa ... Goa ... Goa!

(One day to go)

Hunterwali in Rajasthan

While Mumbai was being pounded with rain, Chrys and I were boiling in the heat of Rajasthan.
On our second night in Jaipur we visited a place called Chokhi Dhani for dinner. It's an artificial village where they have puppet and magic shows, dance performances, sale of locally made artefacts and a dinner of rajasthani dishes. There we were being taken around the little village when we chanced upon some guys dressed up as tribals holding sticks and drums. One of them walked up to us and handed Chrys and me a stick and said "Jhingalala"... no further explanations required. We took the sticks and danced in a circle to drum beats.
This was one of the high points of our visit to Rajasthan. Of course the Jai Mahal Palace deserves a mention. It's beautiful with Mughal styled gardens and wild peacocks, parrots and squirrels having a fun time in them. It also helped that it rained while we there and the peacocks went crazy crying out "Meow meow" (yeah that's what peacocks sound like).
I didn't quite enjoy the two minute camel ride in Chokhi Dhani, but Chrys was whooping away plucking leaves from the high branches of nearby trees just coz he could!
We saw a LOT of forts, palaces, museums and what nots. We also visited Jodhpur and Jaisalmer which are small cities in comparison to Jaipur. This was probably not a good time to visit Rajasthan but we were blessed with pouring rain on one of the days and that cooled the temperatures a bit. I still cribbed about the heat and took repeated showers depleting the precious water resources of that region.
On two occasions I almost beat up guys for taking pictures of me while they were pretending to click some museum piece or something. The first time Chrys made a half-hearted attempt to come to my rescue and the second time he just stood around like a spectator while I fought with the guy. Maybe he thinks my Jhansi-ki-rani act doesn't need extras. I wish I had a hunter with which I could whip those perverts and accidentally strike Chrys too with it.

Dubri in Udvada

Udvada is described as a coastal "town" 200 kms from Mumbai which is an important place of worship for Parsees. I disagree with the "town" bit. This is a village that is caught in a time warp. Everything and everyone seems to be moving at a remarkably slow pace keeping in step with the chirping birds and the barking dogs. Even the dogs don't bark the usual way, they give short low pitch sounds that sound like they are clearing their throats. We stayed at a place called the Globe hotel which is right behind the Iranshah. The name has nothing to do with the structure. It must have just caught the owner's fancy several years ago. There are a couple of two-storey cottages here called 'Homi Cottage' and the 'Annexe'. We stayed on the first floor of the Annexe courtesy of a couple of lizards in the room on the ground floor that was alloted for us earlier. There was a quaint little balcony attached to the room where all the meals were served. (At the end of our stay a little lizard appeared in this room too... THAT is another post)

Speaking about meals, I haven't had such rich and delicious albeit fattening food in any other hotel in my life. Breakfast on the first day consisted of eggs to order, kaleji-bukka (chicken liver and kidney) with bread, butter, jam and milky sweet tea. Even before all this could be digested, lunch arrived. There was a type of fish which is a specialty of this place called boey (B-O-E-Y nahi, B-O-I says Chrys) fried to perfection, mutton gravy(melt-in-mouth tender meat), fish curry, rice and rotis.

After an afternoon siesta, we spent the evening walking around the largely empty village. There are several abandoned or unused houses here - ancient structures that may be over a 100 years old. The population of dogs is more than the local human population. We paid a visit to the beach which was sadly disappointing because of sand erosion and illegal quarrying and all that was left was a rocky bottom exposed by the low tide. With hardly anything left to do, we returned to the room when it grew slightly dark to avoid being followed by the over-friendly dogs. Dinner was a lavish affair again with tandoori chicken, mutton curry, fried boey fish and rotis.

The next morning started with a generous dose of dudh na puff which is considered a delicacy by all Parsis and it's a tradition to have it every time they are in Udvada. It's basically just sweetened milk bubbles which is prepared overnight. I personally didn't like it too much.

Speaking about tradition, these Parsis attach the word 'tradition' to every little thing. It's a tradition to brush your teeth (according to my MIL, we non-parsis i.e dubros are very untidy people). It's a tradition to perform the birdy dance at weddings. It's a tradition to eat eggs when you are ill or have a stomach upset because it's 'light food'. It's a tradition to eat dhansak every Sunday and sleep away the rest of the day. It's a tradition to buy only Kolah's brand pickles. It's a tradition to eat/drink dudh na puff in Udvada. It's a tradition to over-eat when in Udvada. Actually it's a tradition to overeat, period. Almost all traditions are to do with eating. I have gained 8 kilos in the three years that I have been married to Chrys. At this rate I would have gained 58 kgs more by our silver wedding anniversary.

One more pampered day was spent in this quiet little place and we got bored of the sedentary lifestyle. We left the next morning to Ahmadabad by the Shatabdi. Getting bored and being pampered continues for a few more days here before we leave for Mumbai.

Susegad

It means 'relaxed but not lazy'. Some say that it means to kill effort at all cost.

When you land in Goa you don't take too much time to reach the Susegad mode. All it takes is ordering one meal at any of the shack type eateries around. They say five minutes and mean twenty-five. So you wait and wait for your food to arrive, fret and fume while guzzling beer till you reach a stage where you have that glazed look that everyone seems to have around here. The waiters around you can't understand your hurry. 'Where you want to go men?' is the question in their minds. Not that they would ponder on that question too long. The moment that question completes itself in their minds, they have forgotten it.

So, back to your glazed state. When you have given off a few burps courtesy the beer, the food arrives... most of the times it's some prawn starter (what Chrys orders in Goa is very predictable... prawns, prawns and some more prawns). One bite of the food and you are in Susegad mood. Now you keep ordering some really delicious stuff with names like Rechad, Xacuti and Vindaloo (spelt differently in every menu so I don't know which one is right). At some shacks every stuff tastes the same irrespective of the name, but some rare eateries have amazingly differentiated tastes. But being susegad means not caring about such piddly things. You just eat what you get... as long it's the fresh catch of the day- which it almost always is- you don't need to worry about an upset tummy.

In between meals you can float in the sea, frolic in the pool or generally take a nap at the nearest available bed/chair/lounger under an umbrella. Some over-enthusiastic honeymooners may do what all honeymooners do... NOT what you think... I meant shopping. You could also hire a scooter and drive around aimlessly, waving at the local children, smiling at the local adults, barking at the local dogs and meowing at the local cats. Or you could get duped into going in search of dolphins (which almost certainly will not show themselves to you) or parasailing (for TWO whole disappointing minutes) or water-scootering (mind-the-rocks-or-I-will-take-the- damage-money from-you-men). But all that is too much trouble.

Susegad men!