Friday, July 30, 2010

Yeh achi baat nahi hai

The guy who trains me to drive is good at his job, but I still detest him and his car.

Firstly he is as covered in pan stains as the walls of KEM hospital... Oh wait! The doctors cleaned that up themselves. I wish the trainer takes a cue and bathes in a drum of Dettol or something.
Secondly the car he brings looks like it's been reclaimed from the junk-yard. The seatbelt is so tattered that I don't think it's of any use at all. The gear stick sometimes ends up in the 3rd when I try putting it in the 1st. The brakes don't work when you need them to... in fact today I hit the brake and the car speeded up! I swear it wasn't the accelerator!!!

Every time I make a mistake the guy says, "Acha!?!". Just the way Kader Khan says it disbelievingly when his sons come up with some bizarre schemes in "Haseena maan jayegi".
I flinch every time he does that for fear of being hit by a spray of pan juice. I am reminded of the scene in "Main hoon na" where Sharukh Khan dodges the spray of saliva from Satish Shah's mouth by doing a Matrix style stunt. Unfortunately the insides of a battered Santro are not suitable for such stunts.

All said and done, I believe I am proving to be less hazardous to the Mumbai roads than the time I started off.

4 comments:

Flying Machine said...

Yeah now blame the car. See the problem is that you are a woman and driving is a man thing. It is another thing that they overtake from the left, honk the daylights out of you, double, triple park in small lanes when they have to finish chota-mota types of work and result in small traffic jams. they always want to claim the Zebra crossing for themselves, to hell with the pedestrians. But it is a man thing.

And by virtue of being a woman you are incompetent in the driving department. Accept it my friend, it is not the battered car, seat belt or the gear, it is you. Sigh!

Seema Smile said...

Not true. I am no where near getting a permanent license but I already find myself swearing and honking unnecessarily. Gender has nothing to do with it. Driving can improve the language skills of the best of people :)

Flying Machine said...

You missed the sarcasm. You have let me down.

Seema Smile said...

That was the first thing I got dear, but you do realise that in all those things mentioned women aren't too far behind. My over 50 year old landlady told me that she used to scream all the time while driving and occasionally put out her hand and hit out at cycle walas and passers-by LOL!