Maintain Overweight

Yesterday while I was trying to pass a really boring afternoon reading a Sherlock Holmes book, someone rang the bell.

A woman carrying a large black coloured bag stood there and asked me if there were any children below the age of 10 in the house. Now, I was used to being asked about kids below 5 years by these "Polio vaccination campaign" ladies, but this was new to me. I replied in the negative and was about to close the door when she said, "Actually, for ladies problems there is a seminar.... ummm... could you call your mom please?"

My Sherlock instincts perked up.

"Why call my mom?" I asked.

She said, "I need to talk so some ladies"

"Don't I look like one?"

"Aap ladies hain?" (Are you ladies?)

Notwithstanding the grammar in that statement, I was incredulous that I don't look the part of the female of our species.

Then she said, "Aap lagti nahi hai" (You don't look like one?)

I asked her if I at least looked human.

That's when she clarified that by 'ladies' she meant married women and apparently I looked too young to be classified as either... 'ladies' or married!

Now, I consider myself well endowed in all departments almost tending towards the over-weight (although my mom wouldn't say that)

I told her that I had crossed the psychological thirty milestone and the last I checked I was definitely female and a married one at that!

Then she asked me if I had any children. I replied in the negative.

She says, "Aapne apne aap ko bahut acha maintain kiya hai. Plus bache bhi nahi hai na. Main to aap hi ki umar ki hun lekin mujhe dekhiye, bache-wache ke baad kaisi ho gayi hun"

I couldn't help laughing at that... I am far from "maintained".

Then she peered around me into the room and saw the treadmill.

"Aap treadmill karte hai kya?", she asked.

I said, "Main nahi mostly my husband uses it"

"Kyu? Woh overweight hai kya?"

I just laughed and laughed and laughed and closed the door before she tried to sell me any products to combat THAT problem.

PS: There was no seminar. The idiot was selling Aloe Vera juice to combat 'dark circles and hair fall in six months'. She decided herself that I didn't need it and didn't try to sell me any.

Need to complain to the watchman to not let any salespersons in the building, not even entertaining ones.

PPS: The title of this post refers to the stand that Financial Analysts take when they think a particular stock has potential for price increase. Although Chrys usually uses it to refer to my potential - Too fat to be in the Olympics, too ugly to be on T.V.