By Seema Smile. With absolutely ridiculous inputs from B
Summary: Bhairav Pati(BP), Pudina Patni(PP) married. Lala interrupts suhag raat. PP faints. Three years later, PP surfaces as a nurse in Amrika (USA yaar!). Meets Doosra Aadmi(DA) who has lost his memory in an accident. DA is being cared for by PP. Another foreplay...knock on the door ruining it all.
Note: PP had fainted on her suhaag raat. She was whisked away by her kind uncle to Amrika, before she could gain consciousness. The sensible reader is not around, so I can safely imply that she already had her passport and visa ready for such emergencies. The kind uncle turned unkind because he too was sautela.(Sensible reader stay away). So after dar dar bhatkoeing(door door roaming-literally) PP lands a job as a hospital nurse.
Read on…
PP opens the door to reveal a very hassled and door-knobbish expression clad BP. He looks at her palm leaf skirt and past her at DA, who is lounging on the sofa in a pair of torn jeans... shirtless.
BP: (borrowing lines from dad) “Kutte! Main tera khoon pi jaunga.”
PP: “I can’t allow that, he is anaemic. What are you doing in Amrika?”
DA: “PP, who’s this door knob? Tell him this is the wrong door he is trying to attach himself to.”
PP: “Shut up DA, this is my husband!”
BP: “PP, why did you do this to me. Wasn’t I an adarsh Indian patni-vrata pati?”
PP: “Oh, Bhairav, forgive me. Believe me, I am as pure as the day of our incomplete suhaag raat. That is of course because you interrupted us. But that is not important. I got carried away. This DA is such a handsome guy, I really couldn’t resist. Take me away BP, take me away.”
DA: “PP, what are you talking about. How dare you? You are mine. You can’t leave me. Come lets complete what we started. Ignore the door knob.”
DA lunges towards PP, BP steps forward. “Kutte! Main tera khoon pi jaunga”
DA: “Say something I don’t know buddy. Get out of my way.”
The gist of the matter is that, DA and BP are involved in a series of fisticuffs at the end of which DA ends up with a bump on his head and a recovered memory.
He suddenly remembers that on the day of the accident, he was on his way to meet Hot Babe-HB (Mallika Sherawat). He knew HB from college and she loved providing back support to him on his bike. But later he got thrown into jail for performing senseless stunts on his bike… involving a woman and ahem some song n dance and ahem… you know what I mean.
HB is married to her dead sister’s husband (Another hottie? Nah! We couldn’t find anyone to do a guest appearance. John Abraham refused to do it. So we have Bobby Deol in disguise as a beardless sardar, doubling up as HB ka pati with the same door-knobbish expression that has become an inspiration to a lot of men in the north of the Vindhyas). All this is shown in Eastman color flashback for the viewing pleasure of the fans of Mallika.
Now, PP is hot with her newly acquired endowments, but HB is hotter- naturally well endowed you see! So, DA picks up his belongings, gives a hurried kiss to PP (much to the chagrin of doorknob…oops BP I mean) and rushes off to find Hot Babe.
Bhairav Pati and Pudina Patni are left alone to complete what they had started 3 years ago. PP, quickly finds a 6” by 6” cloth, covers her head and bends down to touch BP’s feet. BP is taken aback, thinks he is being attacked and tries to escape… he stumbles and falls on to the glass table. Fear not, he isn’t injured, just a small cut on his thumb. Umm… there is no bandage around, so he decides to wipe the blood on PP’s forehead… *loud music*. PP thinks BP is filling sindoor into her maang. She immediately hugs him.
Now, BP wouldn’t resist such advances, he knows what to do next.
Suddenly out of the blue two flowers come into the frame... the flowers are swaying in the breeze, close together, touching each other... you know what that implies. And they live happily ever after.
The End
Sigh! I love happy endings.
Questions that will remain unanswered. This is NOT a quiz, so spare your gray cells.
1. Where was BP all this while? Ok, he was leching at women, but in which gaon?
2. Why didn’t Lala Kirodimal get punished for his vile ways?
3. Why didn’t Hot Babe come looking for DA when he didn’t turn up on the day of the accident?
4. How could PP oscillate between liking DA and BP?
5. What is the relevance of Sookhagaon in all this?
6. Why the name Sookha?
7. Main Kahan Hoon?
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