Confessions of a blogaholic

My blogs (especially the old one) have borne witness to a lot of ups and downs in my life. I went through several jobs, broke an engagement then fell in love with my best friend, got married and all these events were documented on my blog. So, I don't really know what happened that I decided to not write about my struggles with endometriosis and the resultant infertility. For some reason I decided my public diary couldn't be privy to my most intimate struggle to become a mother. So while I went through painful and frustrating treatments with endless negative results, my blog remained silent about it all.

Today, after watching the movie, "Marley and me", I decided that I want my blog to know everything. What triggered it was a scene in the movie where Jennifer Aniston sits at her kitchen table and browses through the numerous write-ups she had cut out from her husband's column of several years. She says that no matter how bad her day is, no matter how many hundreds of things have gone wrong, she still had those five minutes of her husband's writing to relieve her of her stress and remind her of some good times.

I do that all the time. I go back and read my old blog posts. Most of all I read Chrys' blog. I adore his wit and sharp commentary on everyday stuff. He never fails to make me laugh and that is why I fell in love with him (in addition to the fact that he is extremely sexy).

So, when several years down the line, I come back to read about today, I don't want to miss out some important bits. I know I will have this painful memory locked away in some part of my brain, but writing and then later reading about it somehow makes it less painful.

Without pain one wouldn't value the sweetness of joy. My struggle to become a mother continues but not in silence anymore.