Wedding season

We are just back from a grand wedding celebration in Ahmedabad. It had been in planning since the past one and a half years. I'm sure the parents feel a sense of emptiness now that there's nothing to organise and worry over every morning.

There are a few characteristics common to every wedding.

1. Most of the attendees are old people. The youngsters couldn't be bothered with attending unless they have been dragged along by the oldies in their family.
2. A lot of numbers and addresses are exchanged never to be followed up with a call or visit. The action of exchanging coordinates will be repeated at other functions with the same people chiding each other for not calling or visiting and the cycle continues.
3. You will be dragged across the hall or lawn of the event to be introduced to Mr.So and So and Ms. This and That. You will shake hands or exchanged half-hugs or air kisses depending on the sophistication level of the crowd.
4. No matter how well the organisers have arranged the chairs, they will end up being rearranged in circles so that you can sit around and exchange pleasantries with perfect strangers.
5. You will answer a series of questions like "So where are you now?", "Which company?", "Acha is it the Fort branch?", "So how do you find Bombay?", etc. It's always these questions with some variations in the phrasing.
6. Some women may also talk about the jewellery and sarees and explain extensively how and when these were acquired.
7. If you are single, people would want to know when you are getting married. They may even say stuff like "So, you are next, ha ha ha". If you are married they would like to know when you are gonna have kids. If you have kids they would want to know what their names are and pull their cheeks.
8. The kids will run around getting in your way, pushing you out of the way and generally enjoying themselves the most... even more than the bride and the groom.
9. The bride and the groom will stand on stage with smiles plastered on their faces and saying "Hello"and  "Thank you" a gazillion times while a serpentine queue of people are waiting to get on the stage and say "Hello" and "Congratulations" to them and hand over some presents that are compensation for the enormous amounts of food they are going to devour after getting off the stage.
10. Last but not the least, all sorts of athletics will happen at the food counter: Sprint(to grab a seat if it's a sit down dinner), Relay (pass the sweet dish before it gets over), Wrestling (I was here first... get in line you moti aunty), Musical chairs (happens both in sit-down as well as buffet dinners. The number of chairs in an event will always be at least a 100 less than the actual bums that wish to be seated on them), Debate - about the said chairs. Ok that's not athletics or maybe only for the vocal chords.

All in all an Indian wedding is an excellent exercise in social behaviour. Oh, who am I kidding, they are just an excellent exercise for all parts of the body - especially the stomach.