Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The race

Everyone knows that an important factor during the courting period is to pretend to love a person for who he/she is. The key word here is 'pretend' because the moment you get married you start 'training' each other to change into a person you can live with.

The training starts right at the mandap or altar or registrar's office. No really! Haven't you seen Hindi movies? The man says to his wife, 'Ma ke paer chuo'... that's training - lesson no.1. My mummy is my world, you better respect her. The girl isn't far behind. She accepts lesson number one coz she's got a trick or two up her sleeve. She offers unlimited - as Sheldon would say - 'coitus'  for the first month or so and then... holds it back as a bargaining tool. 'Your mummy is mean :( , she doesn't iron my clothes, or give me bed tea.... what is worse, I have to operate the washing machine myself!!!'.
The boy at first will ignore these things and hope that things get sorted out soon. But then a guys gotta do what a guy's gotta do, so he gives in. They shift out into a new home to avoid conflict.

There further training begins.
'Make the kind of sambhar or khichdi or papad or boiled water... (it could be any thing) just the way my mummy used to make'
'Why don't you wear more sexy clothes?'
'Why do you wear clothes that show so much cleavage?'
'When will you wear the sexy lingerie I bought you'
'Why do you spend so much on lingerie, who's gonna see it anyway?'
'Why don't you ever finish the food we have ordered?'
'Don't touch my electronic stuff'
'Don't make dog-ears in my books'
'Don't go tidying up my closet, I like the mess in there'
'Don't laugh so loud in public'
'Don't talk so much on the phone'
'Don't put starch in my underwear!'
'Don't drag me for grocery shopping'...

The girl meanwhile has her own stuff going on-
'If you want, you eat what I cooked or go back to your mummy'
'Is your chacha going to pick up that plate and put it in the sink?'
'Don't leave your towel and shoes lying around the house?'
'Do you HAVE to listen to music SO loud?'
'Why do you order so much food in a restaurant?'
'Don't eat from my plate'... a little later.. 'I can't eat anymore, can you finish this?'
'For once why can't you wake up before noon on Sunday?'
'Do you have to wear that hideous shirt your mummy gave you?'
'Don't stare at that girl!'
'Don't drink/smoke so much'
'Leave the toilet seat down'
'Don't scratch in public'
'How do you expect me to carry all those grocery bags alone? You have to come with me'...

The race continues. Sometimes the guy is ahead, sometimes it's the girl. There are no clear winners coz the race goes on and on.

If you are unmarried, you will not understand this post. Living-in doesn't count... trust me when I say, a piece of paper changes everything. The important thing is that in-spite of all the training and changing, if you love each other, everyday is an adventure. So put on your training shoes and enjoy the race.

4 comments:

The Wanderer said...

More-than-I-care-to-remember years and still not tired of imparting training or of ignoring training imparted to me ! ;)
Nice post :)

Seema Smile said...

Hahaha... me too :)

Flying Machine said...

shoes kareedne padenge

Australopithecus said...

"'Is your chacha going to pick up that plate and put it in the sink?'"
Not chacha, we have Ramu kaka for that :P