My last surviving grandmom expired last night at the age of 88. She was my mom's step-mother but the only nani I ever knew. My mom's mother expired when she was only 6 years old leaving my grandfather a young widower with three children, one only a few days old infant. He tried taking care of the children for two years with the help of servants and relatives. He refused to remarry lest the new mother ill treated his children. However coming under pressure from family he remarried a woman who was four years his senior and twice divorced.
My grandmother had a tragic life. Her first marriage was happy but broke up due to misunderstandings and ego issues between her husband and her father. Her father wouldn't let her return to her husband after the birth of her first son. She decided to elope but was caught. In a fit of rage and one-upmanship, her father got her remarried. That marriage didn't last long either. She had another son, another fight and came home permanently. She then dedicated herself to social work and politics. She was educated till the seventh standard which was a big qualification for women those days. She knew a bit of English and wrote very well in Malayalam.
She was remotely related to my real grandmother and came often to visit her when she was alive. My grandpa used to call her 'Chechi' or elder sister. She was very fond of my mom who was a chatterbox and loved to dance and sing as a child. So when my real grandmom died at childbirth and she was called to look after the children, she agreed to marry my grandpa although very reluctantly. Initially it seemed the relationship was platonic, but eventually they had a son together. Then the problems began. My grandfather was embarrassed to have another child with a lady who was supposed to have married him only to look after his children from his previous marriage. They started having daily fights and although the children weren't ill-treated the atmosphere at home was toxic for them. Eventually by marriage or for jobs all the children moved away and my grandparents started living separate lives in the same house. My grandfather converted a section of the house into a second kitchen and started cooking his own meals.
My grandmom being egotistical herself, didn't want to take money from him and started asking her three sons to help her out. All the children including the step-children, helped both their parents out, but failed to have them reconcile.
Eventually due to a fall my grandmom was incapacitated and moved in with one of her sons while my grandfather stayed back in the same house where his elder son had moved back with his family.
I remember spending my vacations in my grandparents house where both of them had cooked food and I would have to eat two meals to satisfy them both. They wouldn't speak to each other but ask passers-by to pass on a message. The message would be conveyed loud enough that the passers-by didn't need to repeat it. It was funny and sad at the same time. Only a few years in my memory have I seen them living a family life together albiet with a lot of arguments. I guess in old age they decided to bring an end to all the fighting and find peace in solitude.
Both my grandparents are now no more, my grandfather having passed away four years ago. They never spoke to each other again although they enquired after each other's health from the children.
A tragic life but I hope in death there is peace and tranquillity.